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Week 35-When things are hot and you have no condom, how do you say NO?

April 24, 2009

By the time you are overcome with desire, lust, and passion, it is very difficult to use your brain. Our brains are often useless at times like this…

…but it’s not a good time to have sex!

Unless you are ready to accept dealing with an unplanned pregnancy or an STD – your only choice is NOT have sex – vaginal, anal or oral sex.  We’re talking NO SEX.

Don’t think it’s easy –  many people have found themselves in this situation. It is risky to “take a chance”.   

The best thing is to plan ahead and consider your evening’s plans beforehand.  Make sure you always carry condoms with you.  Be prepared – passion and lust can take over and they rule most of us. 

Back to the condoms – carry them in a small safe place and don’t be ashame you have them with you.  Being prepared doesn’t say anything about your morals – it says you use your brain.

So – back to the situation.  Be honest and express your concerns to your partner. Remind yourself and your sexual partner of how the consequences will be a lot more difficult than resisting sex right now.  Instead, make a plan to get together asap and talk about what you both want to do when you “get together”.

Throughout history, authors and poets have built careers on writing about anticipation of an upcoming rendezvous – the anticipation of pleasure mixed with desire is always something to look forward to and is the stuff of great fantasies.   

There are good times to talk about safer sex practices. The throes of sexual desire and passion is not always the right time. Find a way to talk about safer sex before you get together again.  Over coffee, the phone or email; the conversation can be an opportunity to create more intimacy. Be honest and say what you want and need to enjoy yourself.  

Planned Parenthood of Northern New England’s Education Department carefully selects all weekly questions. All questions are actual inquiries made to PPNNE by college-aged students.

Should you have a question you would like to see included, please send an email to goddess@ppnne.org

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