Week 56-How should I present a fetish to my partner?

September 18, 2009

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By definition, “Sexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism, is the sexual arousal brought on by any object, situation or body part not conventionally viewed as being sexual in nature.”

There are a wide range of fetishes people experience.  You may like being tied up, for example, and someone else may be turned on by feet.  Fetishes vary from person to person.


If you want to share a fetish with your partner, wait until you know them well enough.  Asking someone on a first date to tie you up in leather and whip you could leave them running for the hills.

Once you feel comfortable enough with your partner, choose a time to talk and be as honest as possible.  Let your partner know how and why this fetish turns you on.

Ask your partner to include the fetish in your sex play—when and if they feel ready.

You should be aware your partner may be apprehensive to this idea at first, especially if this is the first time he/she has ever dated someone with a fetish. Be patient and non-defensive during this time.

Although there are lots of myths about them, fetishes can be safe, enhance sexual experiences, and be enjoyed by both partners.  Like any other sexual activity, it must always be consensual, mutual and respectful.

Planned Parenthood of northern New England’s Education Department carefully selects all weekly questions. All questions are actual inquiries made to PPNNE by college-aged students.

Should you have a question you would like to see included, please send an email to goddess@ppnne.org


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